The Value of Character

Queen Eilene

The Value of Character

Holding it together on the road

by: Eilene Rogers

 Originally published to the REAL It’s Ok I’m With The Band Website 03/09/2011

I have interviewed many bands over the past couple of years and I keep coming back to the same question for bands that travel, “How does traveling affect your relationships with each other?” I ask this of them in hopes that I might find a secret recipe to help them hold it together on the road. Well my friends, I have come to a conclusion. There is no secret recipe. Of course I won’t stop asking the question, but I do have some advice for you my friends.

Respecting each other can at times be chore, especially when putting so many different personality types into such a small space. As children grow up they form their little clicks in school. There always has to be an “odd man out.” Many psychiatrists, counselors and even the US government have conducted studies over the “odd man out” phenomenon and pack behavior displayed when giving a group of people a common enemy. The military uses this tactic often during training.

The problem with our society and the very thing which stunts our evolution is, no one understands. We don’t have to have an “odd man out” nor a common enemy to unite a team. We simply need to instill the value of character in a person. It is natural born leaders like myself who have to lead by example. Oh sure, I AM “the odd man out” at times. I dare to be different and I fly my odd flag with pride. The one common factor which occurs over and over throughout my life is that when no one has a plan or a clue, those people look to me for guidance and order. Now I am going to explain to you, exactly what gives people enough trust to look to me for leadership – character. I stand up when no one else will, I won’t sell someone out just to get ahead and I understand the value of being a team player (without an odd man out).

I worked in retail for many years.

I was the assistant manager in a store once, when my boss went on vacation. It was winter time and because it snowed, our paychecks did not get through. One of my employees was very upset. Her husband was addicted to steroids and he kept floating checks on their account. Her checks were about to start bouncing like a chick on a bad date.

I told her, “You should have gotten direct deposit.”

“Shut up Eilene,” she said.

“Don’t tell me to shut up. It’s not my fault the checks aren’t here.”

“Shut up!,” she repeated.

“Whether you like it or not, I AM your boss and you WILL NOT tell me to shut up!”

“Shut up!”

I lowered my voice into almost a growl and said, “You will either go in the backroom and unpack the shipment, or you will go home, but you WILL get out of my sight before I do something you won’t like.”

I took into consideration that she was having problems in life and I let it go without mentioning it again. Now this is a girl who was after my job. She lied about me to my boss all the time and talked about me behind my back, while pretending to be my friend to my face.

 When my boss got back to town she couldn’t wait to tell her about her insubordination. She wanted to cover her butt by telling her side 1^st, and thought it was funny, therefor my boss would have a good laugh with her.

 My boss informed her that what she had done was not funny at all and stated, “Eilene should have fired you on the spot!”

My boss probed me for days about if anything had occurred while she was gone.

I simply stated with a smile, “Nothing I couldn’t handle!”

One day she finally confronted me about it. I said, ”I took care of the situation and it’s over. There was nothing to discuss with you.”

She went back to the employee and said, “I had to drag what happened out of Eilene and she didn’t want to discuss it. I told her she has every right to fire you or at least write you up for your insubordination. All she would say is, ‘It’s over!’ and that to me says a helluva lot more about her as a person as it does about you!”

Guess what? That employee was never insubordinate to me again. In fact, she never spoke about me behind my back again, never lied about me again and she would even go to bat for me when she felt I needed her to.

You see my friends, being a team player is a life skill and recognizing and acknowledging the talent of your team is just as important.

In my PR class today, one of my team members decided he and I should kick the rest of our team members out. He thought with just him and me working together we would have a better shot at an A. I disagreed with him and told him I want to give my team a chance to shine. Stay tuned my friends, because I know I have a team of super stars.

So hear this advice my musician friends, when working with other people, you ARE going to get mad at each other. It will happen inevitably. The one thing you have to remember is you chose to be on that team or were put on a team together for a reason, the whole team is talented. It’s a grown up world and a work environment is much like a family one. Pull up your grownup pants, get over it and learn to love each other. And that may just be the recipe for holding it together on the road.

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