New York, “the big apple,” the big city, “the city that never sleeps.” They say “If you can make there, you can make it anywhere.” Well I made it there. Now, I guess the rest of the world is just wide open for me. I had a love affair with that city and the definition of it for me came in the form of a man. After I got there, he pushed me away, leaving me alone in the big city to redefine it for myself.
And boy did I!
I experienced a lot on those crowded, yet lonely streets. I was driven around, pushed around, pulled around, shoved around and downright dragged around. I was hit on, spilled on, stepped on and led on. Yet I always came up with my “horns high.”
Yes, the city can be rough and annoying, and the people could be straight up rude at times.
They say that city can chew up and spit out a small town girl like myself but whoever said that… didn’t know me.
I have seen a softer side to New York. It’s the East River at the end of my street, staring out over the water at the Brooklyn Bridge, Ellis Island, the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building. It’s not just that though. It’s the beautiful antique buildings in the neighborhood I lived in, the historic district, otherwise known as Brooklyn Heights. It was watching the fireworks burst behind the Empire State Building from the top of a penthouse, on 4th of July.
New York is so many things to so many people. But what made it best for me? I was in it. I wasn’t just in it though. I was a part of it. It consumed me and devoured me. No matter where I go for the rest of my life, a part of me will always remain there, whether I like it or not.
You see the man I spoke of earlier, the one who forced me out on my own. He took a big chunk out of my heart and he will never leave New York, not for anyone.
Now, as I go out on my own into the big cruel world to see other places and do other things, I’ll always remember, a part of me remains in N.Y. It’s a piece of me I can never get back.
Many people in the Greater Texarkana Area remember a band from Atlanta, Texas called Insinuwait. They were local celebrities with plenty of talent to go around. Now, Drummer Bum White and bassist David Ainsworth have given birth to a new band hailing from Atlanta, Setacide. This band has already been winning the hearts of fans as their following grows. In fact, the one word they used to describe their fans was, “loyal.”
Doghouse Entertainment once again sponsored another great event at Hippy’s Night Life in Texarkana. The show took place on November 12, 2011, staring the bands Up From Under, Messer and Setacide. When the opening band canceled, Setacide was more than happy to step-up. And boy did they! They had the audience up out of their seats and rocking.
After Setacide finished the set, It’s Ok I’m With The Band caught up with them for an interview. Standing before the camera was an eager, lively bunch of guys ready to share. The other members of the band are vocalist Adam Garcia and guitarist Jacob Domingue. They let the two more seasoned players do most of the talking during the interview.
The band describes their sound as modern heavy rock and named some of their influences as Shinedown, Chris Cornel, Sevendust and Led Zeppelin.
“All of the greats,” White said. “There’s been so many over the years I can’t name them all.”
“I got my roots from a lot of jazz,” Ainsworth explained. “Now days, it’s just anything with a good heavy rhythm to back it up.”
White and Ainsworth have been in several bands together in the past. The list was long, so obviously these two enjoy working together, and they do it well.
Setacide is making plans to play outside of the area soon.
“We’re looking at everything from Mississippi or anything south of the Mason Dixon Line. All the way up to entertaining some New Jersey gigs,” White said. “We’ll go out to the west or the east, it doesn’t make any difference.”
“Anywhere they want us to play,” Ainsworth added.
The band has a self-produced and self-titled CD. The members stated they would consider reproducing it if the right name came across the table. White says that Setacide is always writing and just wants keep it new for the fans.
“It’s been a great ride for sure,” White concluded.
“Yeah, we’re just trying to get these guys out there now,” Ainsworth said in agreement.
Love Stricken Demise’s Holly Wood talks about her preferences in a bass.
By Eilene Rogers
On October 22, I went to a gig sponsored by Doghouse Entertainment starring InGroundZero, Up From Under and Love Stricken Demise. During the show I discovered there were three of the members from my Facebook Bass Players Group; Jim Spiros, bassist of Up From Under; Billy Blair, guitarist of Love Stricken Demise; and Holly Wood of Love Stricken Demise.
As an amateur (hobby) bass player I started a bass group on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/realbassplayers/ . Bass Players is an open group for bass players to network, share, collaborate and goof around. If you are looking for a bass player, this is the place to find one. It might take quite a few contacts to actually score one… because I’m sure you already know… EVERYBODY NEEDS A BASS PLAYER. Many of the bassists in the group are already playing in multiple bands, so happy hunting. Feel free to join the group but if you are not a bass player, do not get offended by the things we say. It is after all our domain and bassists are a different breed.
During the show at Hippy’s Night Life in Texarkana, I began talking to Holly Wood about my Ibanez.
“Ibanez is too light,” Wood proclaimed.
I explained to her, that is why I like it.
“Try a heavier bass,” Wood said.
I continued to explain to her that I’m afraid a heavier bass will hurt my back. I really wish Ibanez still made the wafer thin.
“It’s worth it to get that heavier sound,” Wood continued.
My bass is my husband and it just feels just right. As I was explaining I thumped my hand on my chest.
“That is what it is all about right there,” Wood said. “That feeling your bass gives in your chest.”
Since I don’t get to speak with other female bassists very often, I began listening intently.
“It’s all about the wood,” she explained. “The heavier the wood in the bass, the heavier sound. Try playing some heavier basses. Just go around and try every bass you can.”
I explained to her I would feel like it’s cheating. But is it really cheating if you don’t plug in?
“You have to plug in,” Wood said. “You can’t really hear or feel the difference if you don’t.”
Since she has played more basses than I have, I am really considering taking her advice. Will it turn me into a collector?
“It’s all about the wood,” she repeated. “Basses that are made of one solid piece of wood have an even heavier sound. I guess because we play such heavy music, I feel the need to have a more low-end, heavier sound when I play.”
The other members of the Dallas band, Love Stricken Demise, include Nikki Mckibbin from American Idol on vocals, Billy Blair II, an actor and former bass player of Earshot, on guitar and Rîçô Gtž on drums. The band recently competed on the new reality T.V. competition “War of Rock.”
Photo by Eilene Rogers. Sal Scoca left, Angelo Fariello right
By Eilene Rogers
The night I met Sweet Cyanide they were playing a packed house as they opened for Mr. Big in Time Square. Sal Scoca called me just as I was buying batteries for my outboard microphone. The mic. ended up still not working but it was just as well.
When I got inside and met Angelo Fariello, I discovered it would be a double your pleasure interview, so the clip-on mic. was no longer necessary. I sat down at the table with two attractive Italian men, vocalist/guitarist Scoca and bassist Fariello. We began joking around right away. They were happy, fun and glad to be there.
Fariello and I bantered back and forth about “All My Exes” by George Straight and Sal seemed to be lost.
The band was touring on its own for quite some time and this was the first home-show in months. Opening for Mr. Big was not only a great opportunity to go home but was also a great experience for Sweet Cyanide.
When asked where their reception is best, the list was long. It turns out they are quite loved everywhere they go.
“The best thing about Sweet Cyanide fans,” Scoca offered, “is that most of them are ladies between the ages of 18 and 27.”
“Not true,” Fariello argued. “We have beautiful female fans of all ages.”
“That’s right.” Scoca said. “You had a 40 year old fan.”
Ok boys are we talking fans here or groupies? Because believe it or not, there is a difference between the two. After both of them acknowledged the difference we moved on, but make no mistake; the ladies do love Sweet Cyanide.
After Scoca exclaimed he had no friends, I had to include a picture of him speaking with a friend in the video footage, just to illustrate what a comedian he is. The humor you see peeking through in some of his lyrics is actually who he is in real life.
Fariello, who is equally the joker, chimed in and said, “Our friends are actually coming to see Mr. Big.”
Fan shouting #1
Horns & Fists
There was absolutely no lack of excitement for Sweet Cyanide, as the crowd photos demonstrate. New York was definitely happy to have the boys home.
I literally had to fight fans wall to wall just to shoot the photos, and all joking aside, even the men were screaming and applauding between every song while throwing up the horns. The entire crowd was in full appreciation. Undeniably Sweet Cyanide has a multitude of fans.
“We are influenced by everything,” Scoca said. “I watch other people and the things going on in their lives and I write stories about other people.”
He jokes around with journalists and claims to have no life of his own but nobody that talented is as uninteresting as he claims to be, just another testament to Scoca’s humor
“Sal is really into the 80’s,” Fariello volunteered. “He loves all of that 80s stuff.”
“Oh yeah, Alice Cooper, White Snake, Def Leppard, Motley Crue… hair metal,” Scoca agreed.
I had to stop them to ask about the 60s. As I pointed out hearing some early 60s influence, especially Paul McCartney, Scoca blushed.
“I am influenced by the 60s” Scoca admitted. “The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Doors… all that stuff.”
The distinct movements within the songs, the transitions between those movements and the variations of texture within, keeps the attention of the listeners. There is no time to get bored because no two songs are alike. The more times you spin it, the more interesting facets you find within the music.
Though Scoca is no doubt an excellent storyteller and lyricist, my love for the music goes beyond the lyrics. There is no lack of talent in this band. Every member of Sweet Cyanide has earned the title “musician.”
“Our fans are probably going to hate our next album,” Scoca concluded.
Somehow, I doubt that.
The fans who get angry about bands changing sounds, do not truly understand what music is about. It is about stimulating the mind and the emotions. It is the bands who challenge themselves to find new ways to do that, who are the truly talented musicians.
After we turned off the camera, we further discussed how some of the classic bands Scoca mentioned earlier had a different sound with each album. That’s what musicians in the 1960’s were about, experimentation, and Sweet Cyanide will no doubt keep that tradition alive.
This video is not a completed product it is just temporary so I could get the feature story up. It will be replaced at a later date.
The other members of Sweet Cyanide include drummer Mike Bambace, guitarist Joe Salvatore and guitarist Tommy “sneakers” Sica.
They have two CDs out right now, the self-titled album Sweet Cyanide and Sweet Cyanide II. Both albums are available on iTunes and Amazon. For band bio, music samples and booking info please visit their Website at http://www.sweetcyanide.com/current-site/.
In March of this year Motley Crue made me aware of the Nikki Sixx photography project via Facebook by posting links to the documentaries on Hulu. I was touched by the project from hearing the stories of the lives behind Sixx’s photography subjects. All six episodes of the documentary are available at http://www.hulu.com/search?query=This+is+Gonna+Hurt%3A+The+Documentaries&st=0&fs=
While viewing the “This is Gonna Hurt” documentaries I learned there would be a book and an album soon to be released. The music from the album plays in the background during the documentaries, so I knew it was going to be good. I immediately pre-ordered the album and the book.
Soon after I received them, I hit the ground running and only had a quick moment to view and listen before I was off to N.Y. for the summer to perform two internships. They were pushed aside for the summer due to all of the music I have to listen to for work and the shows I had to attend.
When I returned to Texas I put the CD in my car and there I had more intimate time to spend with Sixx A.M.
The more I listen to the CD, the more I fall in-love with it. It is an all around great album. The production, the subject matters, the writing and the musicianship are all incredible.
I shared “This is Gonna Hurt” with my 14-year-old daughter and she too fell-in-love with it. I believe one of the reasons we both love it so much is because we have both endured bullying and so we relate to some of the subject matters, on-top-of the fact that we are both empathetic people.
As disturbing as some of the images are in the book, I felt it was important that I share it with my daughter as well. It had the profound effect on her I was hoping for. She now not only understands just how beautiful she is despite what other people tell her but is also grateful for her assets. It humbled her from the shallow beauty standards society sets on us as females.
Every time I listen to the CD I find something new as I dissect it. There are moments that are so grand which go completely over your head if you are not listening carefully. Then there a subtle nuances which you miss if you don’t listen to it again. Those who know me know I love the mixture of classical instruments and modern music. The use of classical instruments in Sixx A.M.’s, “This is Gonna Hurt” is nothing short of genius. The classical instruments add so much more emotion and dynamics to the already emotional subject matters. If you listen to no other song on the album, the song “Skin” is a MUST for everybody.
I encourage you all to watch the documentaries, buy the CD and at least give the book a look even if you do not read it. The book is autobiographical for Sixx. For more information about his photography watch the documentaries in the link provided at the beginning of this article. This project was absolutely an admirable feat on behalf of the boys in Sixx A.M. I have to say, I am absolutely proud of them.
The work of Sixx A.M. is completed by the three band members as follows; James Michael does lead vocals, rhythm guitar, keyboards and drum programming; DJ Ashba does lead guitar and backing vocals; while Nikki Sixx of course plays bass and does backing vocals.
“This is Gonna Hurt,” by Sixx A.M. is one of the best albums of 2011. Now available on Amazon and music outlets everywhere.
Now that I have most of the back articles up from the old site, I am ready. I’m getting to the grind of writing new articles. Of course I have plenty of material to work from already, but all of my video footage needs to be reloaded after the traumatizing p.c. crash in N.Y. over the summer.
Tomorrow night, I am interviewing Barry’s other band, my Hazy Jayne boys (long time friends of mine). This will be my 1st interview with them after all of these years. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002287391171
Next I want to go through some of my audio footage (of which I have much) from Mark Heylman of Suicide Silence. Of course we know Mark is just an awesome and interesting human-being.
I am hoping for an interview with a guitar legend this month as well at a show in the DFW area. More on that later… probably in the form of a fit… if I don’t get the interview. Everybody knows it is NOT pretty when Queen Eilene gets turned down for an interview (DRAMA!).
Maybe when I am in the DFW area I’ll have time to interview some awesome bass players from my Bass Players Face Book Group. Dallas is FULL of great bands. https://www.facebook.com/groups/realbassplayers/
I LOVE the new Sixx AM… so look for a CD review there.
I am also writing a full feature story my beloved Sweet Cyanide. https://www.facebook.com/sweetcyanideNYC It’s no secret I’m a big fan of their music. I have some great video footage from the interview I’m hoping to share as well. Also, check out their website because they have pictures and music up. http://www.sweetcyanide.com/current-site/
For now… sit tight, keep your horns high and stay wicked & sexy always.
Love Always,
Queen Eilene
P.S. And Yes the long awaited Anthrax video is still coming. You didn’t think I forgot did ya? Who loves ya baby?
Banner created by Lydia Lee @ Galactic Warrior Productions Logo from RJD Website
Originally published to the REAL It’s Ok I’m With The Band Website October 24, 2010.
Republished to The Way In blog in August of 2011
The world of music was grief stricken when the legendary Ronnie James Dio passed after a strenuous battle with stomach cancer. Dio was a vocalist in such well known bands as Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Elf, Heaven and Hell and of course, Dio.
Dio ignored the symptoms of his illness for quite some time and so in his wake the Stand Up and Shout Cancer Fund was formed. Dio’s long term manager and wife, Wendy Dio asked that instead of sending food and flowers to his family, for everyone to donate to the Stand Up and Shout Cancer Fund. Many of us did so, but do not feel as if it was enough. This fund is a non-profit organization.
“The Ronnie James Dio Stand Up And Shout Cancer Fund was formed to bring awareness and education about cancer with the understanding that cancer screening and prevention is of vital importance in avoiding this deadly disease that robs families of their loved ones,” as stated on the SU&S Facebook page.
For breast cancer awareness there is the Susan G Komen Foundation and every year they have a race to raise money, called “The Race for The Cure.” People should be educated on all forms of cancer especially the forms that men are prone to because men are less likely to go to a doctor.
For the Stand Up and Shout organization, in honor of our beloved Ronnie James Dio a concert should be held traditionally every year near the anniversary of his death.
The SU&S Facebook page further states that the philosophy stems from the notion of “Knowledge Equals Power.” Cancer screening allows people to effectively plan strategies to deal with the disease early on and affords a better chance to overcome the cancer. The Ronnie James Dio Stand Up and Shout Cancer Fund was formed to bring awareness and education about cancer with the understanding that cancer screening and prevention is of vital importance in avoiding this deadly disease that robs families of their loved ones.”
The mission statement provided by the organization is as follows:
The fund is committed to providing free cancer screening programs and testing to all people regardless of their ability to pay. It will support community outreach programs and help provide the necessary equipment and personnel to test and screen people for cancer. It will also provide financial support to those individuals and families afflicted with cancer that cannot access treatment due to the overwhelming financial burden of medical treatments. The fund is committed to the early detection and prevention of cancer through facilitating access to medical screening and medical educational programs. It will support programs designed to integrate medical knowledge into local communities such as cancer screening programs, education on nutrition in cancer prevention, exercise and overall wellness. The goal of the fund is to reduce the risk of developing life threatening cancers by offering access to preventative medical services, furthering the commitment for patients to access to quality medical care related to cancer, the fund seeks to assist families burdened by the cost of caring for loved ones with cancer.
Many of you may be asking yourselves, “But what can I do to help?”
The first thing you can do is click the banner at the top of this blog or in the sidebar. It will take you to the official Ronnie James Dio website where you can make a donation. You don’t have a credit or debit card? No problem, the fund takes Paypal payments. For those unfamiliar with Paypal, it is an online payment system that may be linked to your bank account and credit cards. The donation is easy and it takes less than five minutes.
Another way you can donate is by making purchases of Dio merchandise off of the official page.
Other ideas include having people donate a dollar for a ticket and have a drawing for prizes. Auctions are a great way to raise money. You can also have a fund raiser dinner party and charge a set amount per plate and send out invitations to people in your community. You can even theme it around Dio. He would probably get a kick out of that. Make Stand Up and Shout about cancer shirts then donate the profits to the organization (this would require permission from the organization).
Our lovely photographer Sarah Dunbar even offered up the idea of a boy toy auction. In this scenario women bid on having dinner with chosen men to be auctioned off. If you own a bar, set aside a Stand Up and Shout Fund Raiser night. You can do this annually or as many times a year as you like, again this can be themed. Throw an annual festival in Dio’s honor for Stand Up and Shout. You can also volunteer to help care for and entertain cancer patients. Studies show that laughing has healing powers and children always love mentors. You can donate time to help out various cancer organizations.
This disease does not discriminate; it will take anyone of any race, creed, color, nationality, religion and age.
My sit down with Bobby “Blitz” Ellsworth of Overkill
Originally written for Its’s Ok I’m With The Band 05/14/2010
When most writers come to the decision they want to be a music journalist, I believe they begin to formulate a list of who their ideal interviews will be. Forget the mumbo jumbo Rolling Stone was spouting inn the movie “Almost Famous,” about how you can’t be a fan and write about music.
If you are not a fan of music, then how dare you write about it? Shame on you! I believe you should study music too. That is, if you are going to have the slightest idea of what you are talking about.
After the list is formulated, we start chasing after those ever elusive interviews that always seem to slip through our fingers. It’s like chasing unicorns. I have a list of unicorns. It’s quite a shot to a writer’s ego to get turned down for an interview. Especially to a journalist who constantly has bands saying, “Look at me, look at me.” I have only been turned down for interviews twice now. It was not pretty!
“Gigantour 2006,” there he stood on stage shouting out to the Oklahoma City fans that he couldn’t hear them. “I must be in Texas!” It was Bobby “Blitz” Ellsworth, vocalist of the thrash band Overkill.
The first time I met Ellsworth he thought he already knew me. “Where are you from?,” he asked.
“I drove six hours from Texas to see you,” I responded.
You could have heard a pen drop. In-fact I heard five, as the whole band sat there gaping up at me. They all just dropped their Sharpies to the table.
To break the tension I continued speaking with them as Ellsworth began asking me more and more questions. When he was convince that we really did not know eachother he let me move on. Little did he or I for that matter, know that one day he would become my “unicorn.”
When I first received an invite from the venue to see Overkill play, I began sending emails. I emailed a PR company that I assumed was working with the band, but no such luck. I emailed the venue, no response. I emailed their booking agent, no response. I emailed the record label, who at last turned me down for the interview.
No matter, I am a fan. So I grabbed my press badge, my camera and set out on the three hour drive to Dallas. I was thinking in the back of my head, “Bobby thought he knew me the first time we met, so maybe he will have that sense of familiarity again.”
I met a lot of great people at the show. I gave out so many business cards that I ran out. I met several musicians, “I’m in a band.” Of course in my head I hear, ‘Look at me! Look at me!’ and think, ‘Of course you are.’
There I stood under the stage taking picture, while a hot little tribe of Native American boys kept the mosh pit off my back. I looked up at Ellsworth and give that spread finger, short, wave that you give to people you know well. He looked at me giving me the exact same wave and smiled with that look of familiarity you give to an old friend you haven’t seen in a while.
So after the show I stuck around with some pretty cool peeps who I met during the show. Bobby came right up and gave me the old friend hug. I stood there in his embrace, wondering if he really knew how he knows me.
He signed autographs and came back to talk to me. Of course being the, “ball buster” I am, as New Yorkers like to call me, I commence to giving him hell about OKC. Of course, NY and Jersey boys would never get a kick out of a chick who’s not afraid to give them crap. I told Ellsworth about my plight of failing miserably in the area of getting an interview. He told me he will most definitely give me one in the future.
Suddenly he looked down at his watch and said, “I have a little time before we have to go, would you like to drink a beer with me and have a chat?”
Naturally I want to jump in the air and do the little boogie dance, but I played it cool. I simply responded, “Sure.” Now I was thinking he meant sit at the bar and have a beer.
As Ellsworth walked me onto the tour bus I paused. In my head I was thinking, ‘What am I getting myself into? You grew up on this scene Eilene, you know they don’t invite nice girls on the tour bus. Bobby, you better be the nice guy I believe you to be.’
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until my chest dropped in relief, as he seated his-self on the couch opposite me. Suddenly there he went again asking me a million questions. Ok, who is the journalist here? When he was satisfied that he asked me enough questions he turned to me and toasted, “Here’s to your writing career.”
“And your comeback,” I responded.
Ellsworth looked me in bewilderment. “It’s not a comeback,” he explained. “We never went anywhere. We’ve been out there touring all along. We never lost popularity on either coast. In the 90s we made more money than ever. We were still touring South America, Europe and Japan as well. We have a huge following over seas. By the time the 90s rolled around there were only four or five metal bands still doing it. We cornered the market.”
“We still book stadiums of 40,000 people or more. Yes I agree it is important to connect to the fans and get closer to the fans, but I can do that at a large venue as easily as a small one,” Ellsworth said.
That brought his stage dive to mind. Quite frankly, my heart stopped beating during the show when I saw him dive into the crowd. So I asked him about it.
“Do I worry about mass hysteria? No we’ve been doing this for 25 years. I think Oasis was probably the last band to really have that Beatlemania type hysteria. I wasn’t a bit scared when I dove into the crowd. I was in safe hands,” he said with confidence.
Tell that to a city who’s hero didn’t get assassinated on stage. It was Dallas and we do worry about mass hysteria and fan obsession. Dimebag’s death was a deep loss to the entire world, not just Dallas. With Dime’s death though, came the rebirth of metal.
“Yes metal is stronger than ever, but all of the bands that are out right now are influenced by the bands of the 80s,” said Ellsworth.
“If they expect to carry it any further though,” Ellsworth continued. “They are going to have to start coming up with a sound of their own. If they are just carbon copies of the originals and everything has already been done. There’s going to be nothing left to hold onto the interest of the fans.”
Maybe that’s true my friend, but I believe our southern metal boys and girls have a pretty good grip on it with all of the genre blending that they do.
It’s Ok I’m With Band Band, LLC is owned by Eilene Rogers.
The It’s Ok I’m With The Band brand is the property of Eilene Rogers.
It’s Ok I’m With The Band articles are publications written and the property of Eilene Rogers.
The online image of Queen Eilene is solely a creation of the online following of Eilene Rogers.
Any use of the material within or outside of entities owned by Eilene Rogers are to be properly quoted, cited and linked.
Originally published to the REAL It’s Ok I’m With The Band Website 03/09/2011
I have interviewed many bands over the past couple of years and I keep coming back to the same question for bands that travel, “How does traveling affect your relationships with each other?” I ask this of them in hopes that I might find a secret recipe to help them hold it together on the road. Well my friends, I have come to a conclusion. There is no secret recipe. Of course I won’t stop asking the question, but I do have some advice for you my friends.
Respecting each other can at times be chore, especially when putting so many different personality types into such a small space. As children grow up they form their little clicks in school. There always has to be an “odd man out.” Many psychiatrists, counselors and even the US government have conducted studies over the “odd man out” phenomenon and pack behavior displayed when giving a group of people a common enemy. The military uses this tactic often during training.
The problem with our society and the very thing which stunts our evolution is, no one understands. We don’t have to have an “odd man out” nor a common enemy to unite a team. We simply need to instill the value of character in a person. It is natural born leaders like myself who have to lead by example. Oh sure, I AM “the odd man out” at times. I dare to be different and I fly my odd flag with pride. The one common factor which occurs over and over throughout my life is that when no one has a plan or a clue, those people look to me for guidance and order. Now I am going to explain to you, exactly what gives people enough trust to look to me for leadership – character. I stand up when no one else will, I won’t sell someone out just to get ahead and I understand the value of being a team player (without an odd man out).
I worked in retail for many years.
I was the assistant manager in a store once, when my boss went on vacation. It was winter time and because it snowed, our paychecks did not get through. One of my employees was very upset. Her husband was addicted to steroids and he kept floating checks on their account. Her checks were about to start bouncing like a chick on a bad date.
I told her, “You should have gotten direct deposit.”
“Shut up Eilene,” she said.
“Don’t tell me to shut up. It’s not my fault the checks aren’t here.”
“Shut up!,” she repeated.
“Whether you like it or not, I AM your boss and you WILL NOT tell me to shut up!”
“Shut up!”
I lowered my voice into almost a growl and said, “You will either go in the backroom and unpack the shipment, or you will go home, but you WILL get out of my sight before I do something you won’t like.”
I took into consideration that she was having problems in life and I let it go without mentioning it again. Now this is a girl who was after my job. She lied about me to my boss all the time and talked about me behind my back, while pretending to be my friend to my face.
When my boss got back to town she couldn’t wait to tell her about her insubordination. She wanted to cover her butt by telling her side 1st, and thought it was funny, therefor my boss would have a good laugh with her.
My boss informed her that what she had done was not funny at all and stated, “Eilene should have fired you on the spot!”
My boss probed me for days about if anything had occurred while she was gone.
I simply stated with a smile, “Nothing I couldn’t handle!”
One day she finally confronted me about it. I said, ”I took care of the situation and it’s over. There was nothing to discuss with you.”
She went back to the employee and said, “I had to drag what happened out of Eilene and she didn’t want to discuss it. I told her she has every right to fire you or at least write you up for your insubordination. All she would say is, ‘It’s over!’ and that to me says a helluva lot more about her as a person as it does about you!”
Guess what? That employee was never insubordinate to me again. In fact, she never spoke about me behind my back again, never lied about me again and she would even go to bat for me when she felt I needed her to.
You see my friends, being a team player is a life skill and recognizing and acknowledging the talent of your team is just as important.
In my PR class today, one of my team members decided he and I should kick the rest of our team members out. He thought with just him and me working together we would have a better shot at an A. I disagreed with him and told him I want to give my team a chance to shine. Stay tuned my friends, because I know I have a team of super stars.
So hear this advice my musician friends, when working with other people, you ARE going to get mad at each other. It will happen inevitably. The one thing you have to remember is you chose to be on that team or were put on a team together for a reason, the whole team is talented. It’s a grown up world and a work environment is much like a family one. Pull up your grownup pants, get over it and learn to love each other. And that may just be the recipe for holding it together on the road.
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